Tuesday, January 12, 2016

My Cuban Christmas Gift



Me go to an inclusive resort? What would I do for material? I didn't get interested in my Cuban vacation until I found out that the surprise stripper my husband hired for my 40th birthday party smuggled cigars with a guy who knew this guy that got us this place in his neighborhood in the barrio. While Siri was christmas shopping for your wife at the traffic light, I was stealing salt from a shaker into a gum wrapper to make an egg taste like something. Its 90degrees, geckos are running on a wheel to keep it at 80degrees, our pillows are little foam squares that smell of mildew, the sheets are 20 count polyester, and there are rusting bed springs under the mattress. My husband worked his rolodex until he found a porn film set to buy me for Christmas.

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